Even though, I spent the majority of the month prior to my trip saying that I need to get out of the fuck out of the blessed 5 boroughs, I did not realize how much I really did. In fact, I needed it more than most can realize, though I had to deal with the following:
- Cigarette smoke (EVERYWHERE)
- The fact that I have no will power as it comes to the great temptations of Whataburger, Mexican food, Sonic, Fried items covered in Gravy, Pepsi, and vodka
- Ridiculous questions
*Ridiculous questions were as follows
1. When are you getting married?
I don’t know. Why don’t you ask my Muslim boss and my grandmother. I am sure y’all can teleconference over the matter.
2. How long have you 2 been married?
First all, this question was asked of one of my best friends (male) and I on New Years Eve. We died in laughter. There is no way either of us could put up with the other for more than 2 weeks…and that’s with large amounts of alcohol.
3. Have you moved back?
Ummm, no (all with a disgusted look like he asked me if I voted for Dubya)
This made me feel like Bill Paxton in Twister. I know it is a bad reference as pointed out by the cute Italian boy.
4. Is it true everyone in New York is an asshole?
Actually, I meet more here. People in NYC are alright for the most part as long as you aren’t in their way.
5. You’re a liberal aren’t you?
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, you meant that in a negative way? I am sir, I don’t know what you are referring to and I won’t respond (Reference to Arrested Development)
Now I know what you are thinking: When why the fuck do you go there? Just go to the islands!!! The Pocanos are lovely this time of year.
Yes, you are correct that last one was an inside joke that you stumbled right into.
The answer is rather simple. Or not. Many prongs
- I miss my Mommy!!!
I am a Momma’s girl. I am the product of single parent home, even when she did re-marry it was always a divided house. I need someone that will: Let me sleep in til noon and not say one thing about it. Clean my lap top with a q-tip and bowl of vinegar. Give me shit for poisoning my self and being hungover half the days that I am in town. Help me organize of scripts. It also never gets old that she thinks I am unicorn that farts glitter (yes, another inside joke).
- It reminds me of the fact that I am very different from most people I grew up around.
Like all people in this world, I often question everything I am doing. Going back to Texas….helps me realize I AM FUCKING FABULOUS & EVERYTHING WILL BE O-KAY!!!! Seriously. This place has not changed much, except for a few new chain restaurants. The people are the same. What they think is the same. The directions on how to get nameless ‘burbs of the ‘burb are the same (‘Make a right that the piddley hateful church that makes all the asshole comments about gay marriage on its marque sign’). All of these things help me realize, I am exactly who I am suppose to be, where I am suppose to be, doing what I am suppose to be.
- Revives me.
New York City kicks your ass on a daily basis. Anyone that lives here and denies it is on more meds than a hospice patient. I had not left the City since March and that was for my Grandfather’s funeral (not exactly happy vaca). It had gotten so bad that a guy that I met at the bar that knew me from work thought I was from NYC because “I looked so pissed about being at work.” Not gonna deny it…I was.
But when I came back. I was nice to people at work. I was happy to see people. The smells of garbage waiting to get picked up didn’t bother me. I was more than thrilled to see my roomies in my overly heated apartment in my ghetto-esq ‘hood.
But all the snow storms have bothered me
This how we get on the bus!!!
Let’s take the train!!! YAY!!!!!